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Changing My Critical Attitude toward Others
Numbers 12: 1-12
A young preacher was leaving his first church and moving
to another church several states away. On this journey to his new church
he stopped to see an old professor, who had retired and took a small
church. The professor’s small church was not far away from the young
preacher’s new church. The young preacher asked his former professor,
what kind of people should we expect to minister to. The professor
answered with a question, what kind of people did you minister to in
your first church? Oh, they were negative and cheerless, they would
never cooperate and so very ungrateful for anything we did for them.
That’s the main reason we are leaving. What kind of people are they at
our new church? The very same kind of people, I am sorry to say.
The professor knew that our outlook determines our outcome. The way we
look at another person will have a bearing on how we will view and treat
that relationship. If I look upon another person with a critical eye, I
will destroy the chance for a healthy relationship. And because it is
not a healthy relationship I will grumble about it and become even more
critical and God puts that grumbling in the same class as idolatry and
sexual immorality according to 1 Corinthians 10.
This morning we looked at the command to forgive one
another. Tonight I would like to piggy back that sermon with a look to
determine if we have a critical spirit. How many of us are critical,
that is dwelling on the perceived faults of others without any regard to
their good points?
So let’s see what we can learn about a critical attitude.
Turn with me in your Bible to Numbers 12: 1-12.
My critical spirit will show itself against those with whom I am the
closest.
Vs 1- Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of the
Cushite wife because he had married a Cushite.
Miriam and Aaron are not just two people traveling to the Promised Land
with Moses. They are his sister and brother. If you want to know if you
have a critical spirit, think about how you talk about those who are
closest to you.
If I am going to be critical of a church, I am not going to be critical
of Guin; I am going to critical of New Hope.
I am not going to be critical of Angie Lucas; I am going
to be critical of Trista.
I am not going to be critical of the people where you
work; I am going to be critical of the people where I work.
If I want to see if I have that critical spirit, I need to look at how I
talk about those who are closest to me. Is my language a language of
love and the words I say of an uplifting nature or are my words used to
constantly criticize?
The danger of a critical spirit is that it spreads to others.
Vs 1-2 Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses...
In the Hebrew, words are gender specific. The words “to talk against
Moses” is in the feminine which means Miriam starts with the critical
attitude. By verse 2 Aaron has chimed in with his criticism. Miriam
critical attitude spread to Aaron.
Think about it at work, one person bad mouths the boss and it is not
long that everyone is bad mouthing the boss. You find a home where the
mother or father has a critical attitude and it is not long before that
whole family will have a critical attitude. In a church it only takes
one or two with a critical attitude about the preacher or ministry
leader and before long the whole church is in an uproar about the
preacher or ministry leader.
That’s another reason that I have got to watch what I
say. Jesus says in Matthew 12:36 I tell you,
on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word
they speak,
I am going to be held accountable for the words I say.
Once again like we discussed this morning in our Bible class I can get
everything right in my worship, be baptized for the right reasons, and
still be judged guilty for my words and I believe even the critical
words that I encourage others to say.
No matter how spiritual I am, I will battle a critical spirit all my
life.
Vs 2 Hasn’t he also spoken through us.
Miriam was a godly lady. She was the one who put Moses in the basket in
the Nile River. She arranged for Moses to be cared for by his mother.
Many believe that she wrote the song of worship in Exodus 15 when they
celebrated crossing the Red Sea. In the camp she was known as a
prophetess.
She definitely had to be a light of hope and encouragement to the
community out in the wilderness. But even though she had done all of
these wonderful things we see that even she battled and struggling with
a critical spirit.
Church it doesn’t matter how long you have been a
Christian, or how good a Christian I am, we are told in 1 Corinthians
10:12 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest
he fall.
Once again I can think that I have it all together and
still fall to a critical spirit.
Sometimes my criticism of another is only a
cover up to my real problem.
Vs 1-3 Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses...
Miriam begins to criticize Moses for marrying a Cushite woman. She would
rather deal with Moses’ problem then her own problem. Her real problem
was that Moses was getting all the attention from the people and God.
And she is thinking to herself what am I, nothing, unimportant. I want
to be as important as Moses. Miriam had a problem not with Moses but
with God.
Teenagers are critical of their parents all the time. But just maybe the
teenager’s real issue is that he or she has a rebellious attitude in
their heart.
Maybe you are critical of your spouse, but the real issue
is that I am not happy with who I am.
I heard several people joking today that I stepped hard
on their toes, but I also saw the faces of those who turned the message
off today. When I get frustrated with someone or something I have got to
always look first at me and see if I am living in the will of God.
We also read in verse 3
Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone
else on the face of the earth.
What did he do to warrant the criticism that he received?
God stops to tell us that there was no reason in the world why someone
could find fault with Moses. But we are the type of people that no
matter how good a person is I can find something to be critical of.
In the days of Jesus, the Bible records that He was without sin and yet
the people around Him found things to be critical of Him for.
That tells me a little bit about the ugliness about my flesh. I can find
fault with someone who is without fault.
God then finishes this passage by showing us
that a critical spirit will not go unpunished.
Vs 4-10 Read…
God did not let Miriam’s critical spirit go unpunished. God did not want
to hear Miriam’s explanation as to why she was being critical. Instead,
He moved quickly to chastise her for her actions. If God chastised
Miriam, then it is reasonable to believe that some of the struggles in
our lives are a direct result of our attitude towards the people that
God loves.
So that leaves us with a question. How do we get rid of a
critical attitude?
The answer is found in 1Corinthians 13:1-8.
A. In the first three verses, it gives us three specifics to determine
if we have a critical spirit, then the remaining verses gives us three
general guidelines so that we can apply love to a critical spirit.
1. If what I am saying about someone, no matter how well I say it, is
void of love then I have a critical spirit.
Have not love; I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
In my case, one of the best ways I know of to be critical is to be
humorous. I can cut somebody down and have people laughing at the same
time. The only problem is that God finds no humor in that.
For others, they can eloquently present the case that so and so is a
jerk. They have this wonderful way of being so convincing. But it is
still being critical.
What I say about you and what you say about me has to be tempered with
love. No matter how I say it, if love is missing in my conversation, I
am being critical.
No matter how much truth is involved if I don’t speak in love then I
have a critical spirit.
Vs. 2- If I have a gift of prophecy and can fathom all
mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
I am often told that it is OK to talk bad about another person as long
as what we are saying is the truth. The truth is not gossip we say.
But God does not give us that permission. Whatever is
truth must be filtered through love. And love does not give me
permission to talk ugly about someone simply because it is the truth.
If what I do for you does not agree with how I think
about you, I have a critical spirit.
Vs. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to
the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
The truth is sometimes my critical spirit about someone shows itself by
my words I speak to others. But there are times my critical spirit shows
itself to me deep within my heart.
For example, where I work I may be very critical about my boss. But I am
afraid that if I say something out loud to another employee it may get
back to my boss. So I keep in my heart. Then my boss asks me to do
something, I do it but I hate within myself every minute of helping
them. I am not a martyr but I have a critical spirit.
Husbands and wives built up resentments deep in their heart against each
other and when one ask the other to do something, it beings World War
III because they have a critical spirit about their spouse.
How many of us have a critical spirit?
I want to close quickly tonight by giving you three principles we can
apply to our life to change it.
Love requires that I confront a person when I believe a major wrong
has been committed.
Vs. 6-Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
If I hear you have a marriage spat, I would not step in, but if I hear
you are planning a divorce I would.
If I hear that you and a Brother in Christ have a
disagreement I would let it go, but If I hear that you have deep seeded
resentment towards each other I would need to try to be a mediator.
Love requires that on the minor problems, I over look the
offense.
Vs 4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It dos not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud, It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it not
easily angered, it keeps no records on wrongs.
I believe that it keeps no records of wrongs. You do something good for
someone and they don’t say thank you, love requires that you over look
it.
Somebody does not conduct their business dealing the way you do but
nobody has been harmed, then you need to overlook the offense.
Somebody said something that hurt your feelings, and you know they did
not even know they hurt your feelings, learn to overlook it.
The story is told about Abraham Lincoln when he was running against
Edward Stanton. Stanton got into name-calling. Calling Lincoln a clown
and the original gorilla. Lincoln never said a word. When elected he
needed a secretary of war and named Stanton. When asked why, Lincoln
said because he is the best man. When Lincoln died Stanton had this to
say “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.” What
Abraham Lincoln did was overlook Edward Stanton’ s offense.
Some of us here may not have many friends because we have never been
able to overlook an offense.
In all things, I need to practice love.
Vs. 8- Love never fails.
Whether I am confronting or overlooking an offense, I need to be
exercising love.
In closing today, I want to ask you three questions. I want you to be
honest with yourself today.
Just you and God.
1. Am I a loving person?
2. Am I seeing the benefits of my love in my
relationships with people?
3. Am I choosing to act lovingly more often than
critical?
I hope that you were able to answer yes to all three. Some of you may
not have been able to do so. Do you want to get it straight with God?
That’s what this invitation time is for.
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