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Changing My Critical Attitude Toward Others
Numbers 12: 1-12
A young preacher was leaving his first church and moving to another
church several states away. On this journey to his new church he stopped
to see an old professor, who had retired and gone back into pulpit work.
The young preacher asked his former professor, what kind of people
should we expect to minister to. The professor asked, what kind of
people did you minister to in your first church?
“Oh, they were negative and cheerless, they would never cooperate and so
very ungrateful for anything we did for them. That’s the main reason we
are leaving. What kind of people do you believe we will find at our new
church?” The young preacher asked.
The old Professor replied “The very same kind of people, I am sorry to
say.” The wise professor knew that our outlook determines our outcome.
The way we look at another person will have a bearing on how we will
view and treat that relationship. If we look at someone with a critical
eye, we destroy the chance for a healthy relationship. And because it is
not a healthy relationship we grumble about it and become even more
critical. Did you know that God puts grumbling in the same class as
idolatry and sexual immorality according to 1 Corinthians 10?
Tonight I need us to be honest and determine if we have a critical
spirit. How many of us are critical? How many of us are quick to think
about someone’s faults before we are willing to consider their good
points? Tonight I want us to see what the Bible says about having a
critical attitude. Turn with me in your Bible to Numbers 12: 1-12. (Read
Text)
First notice that My critical spirit will show itself against those with
whom I am the closest.
Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses.
Miriam and Aaron are not just two people traveling to the Promised Land
with Moses. They are his sister and brother. If you want to know if you
have a critical spirit, think about how you talk about those who are
closest to you.
If I am going to be critical of a church, I am not going to be critical
of Guin or Winfield; I am going to critical of New Hope. I am not going
to be critical of Terry Dennis; I am going to be critical of Trista. I
am not going to be critical of the people where you work; I am going to
be critical of the people where I work.
If I want to see if I have that critical spirit, I need to look at how I
talk about those who are closest to me.
The danger of a critical spirit is that it spreads to others.
In the Hebrew they don’t have to talk of male and female because the
words are gender specific. The words “to talk against Moses” is in the
feminine which means Miriam starts with the critical attitude. By verse
2 Aaron has chimed in with his criticism. Miriam critical attitude
spread to Aaron.
Think about this way. At your job if one person bad mouths the boss it’s
not long before everyone thinks that the boss is a jerk.
Without fail when you find a home where the mother or father has a
critical attitude you see it in the kids, and the kids grow up and soon
their spouse has that same critical attitude.
Even in the church, when one person has a critical attitude about the
preacher or song leader or even the elders and before long the whole
church is in an uproar.
It is always easier to lower my standards and behavior that it is to
stand against the crowd.
I have had a hard time learning that No matter how spiritual I am, I
will battle a critical spirit all my life.
We need to remember that Miriam was a godly lady. She had lived a life
of faithfulness to this point. I mean she was the one who put Moses in
the basket in the Nile River. She arranged for Moses to be cared for by
his mother. Many believe that she wrote the song of worship in Exodus 15
when they celebrated crossing the Red Sea. In the camp she was known as
a prophetess.
But yet, we see her here struggling with a critical spirit. Regardless
of how long I have been a Christian, or how good a Christian I am, I
need to be on guard against a critical spirit.
Sometimes my criticism of another is only a cover up to my real problem.
Miriam begins to criticize Moses for marrying a Cushite woman. She would
rather deal with Moses’ problem then her own problem. Her real problem
was that Moses was getting all the attention from the people and God.
And she is thinking to herself what am I, nothing, unimportant. I want
to be as important as Moses. Miriam had a problem not with Moses but
with God.
A teenager is critical of their parents. But just maybe the teenager’s
real issue is that he or she has a rebellious attitude in their heart.
Someone may have a critical spirit toward their preacher, but maybe the
real issue is that God did not do something that you wanted Him to do.
Maybe you are critical of your spouse, but the real issue is that I am
not happy with who I am.
Often we are critical of others even when criticism is not warranted.
We read in verse 3- Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than
anyone else on the face of the earth.
I find it interesting in this text that God stops to tell us that I can
find no reason in the world why someone could find fault with Moses. But
we are the type of people that no matter how good a person is I can find
something to be critical of.
In the days of Jesus, the Bible records that He was without sin and yet
the people around Him found things to be critical of Him for. That tells
me a little bit about the ugliness about my flesh. I can find fault with
someone who is without fault.
Finally we see that God warns us that a critical spirit will not go
unpunished.
God did not let Miriam’s critical spirit go unpunished. God did not want
to hear Miriam’s explanation as to why she was being critical. Instead,
He moved quickly to chastise her for her actions.
If I chose to be critical, then I chose to suffer the consequences.
If God chastised Miriam, then I believe that God will chastise you and
I.
So that leaves us with a question. How do we get rid of a critical
attitude? The answer is found in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. Look with me at
this text.
In the first three verses, it gives us three specifics to determine if
we have a critical spirit, then the remaining verses gives us three
general guidelines so that we can apply love to a critical spirit.
If what I am saying about someone, no matter how well I say it, is void
of love then I have a critical spirit.
Have not love; I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
In my case, one of the best ways I know of to be critical is to be
humorous. I can cut somebody down and have people laughing at the same
time. The only problem is that God finds no humor in that.
For others, they can eloquently present the case that so and so is a
jerk. They have this wonderful way of being so convincing. But it is
still being critical.
What I say about you and what you say about me has to be tempered with
love. No matter how I say it, if love is missing in my conversation, I
am being critical.
No matter how much truth is involved if I don’t speak in love then I
have a critical spirit.
Vs. 2- If I have a gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all
knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not
love, I am nothing.
We must really think it is OK to talk bad about another person as long
as what we are saying is the truth. God does not give us that
permission. Whatever is truth must be filtered through love. And love
does not give me permission to talk ugly about someone simply because it
is the truth.
If what I do for you does not agree with how I think about you, I have a
critical spirit.
Vs. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the
flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
The truth is sometimes my critical spirit about someone shows itself by
my words I speak to others. But there are times my critical spirit shows
itself to me deep within my heart.
For example, where I work I may be very critical about my boss. But I am
afraid that if I say something out loud to another employee it may get
back to my boss. So I keep in my heart. Then my boss asks me to do
something, I do it but I hate within myself every minute of helping
them. I am not a martyr but I have a critical spirit.
Husbands and wives built up resentments deep in their heart against each
other and when one ask the other to do something, it beings World War
III because they have a critical spirit about their spouse.
How many of us have a critical spirit?
So what do we do about it? Three principles we can apply to our life to
change it.
Love requires that I confront a person when I believe a major wrong has
been committed.
Vs. 6-Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
If I hear you have a marriage spat, I would not step in, but if I hear
you are planning a divorce I would.
If I hear that you and a Brother in Christ have a disagreement I would
let it go, but If I hear that you have deep seeded resentment towards
each other I would need to try to be a mediator.
Love requires that on the minor problems, I over look the offense.
Vs 4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It dos not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud, It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it not
easily angered, it keeps no records on wrongs.
I believe that it keeps no records of wrongs. You do something good for
someone and they don’t say thank you, love requires that you over look
it.
Somebody does not conduct their business dealing the way you do but
nobody has been harmed, then you need to overlook the offense.
Somebody said something that hurt your feelings, and you know they did
not even know they hurt your feelings, learn to overlook it.
The story is told about Abraham Lincoln when he was running against
Edward Stanton. Stanton got into name-calling. Calling Lincoln a clown
and the original gorilla. Lincoln never said a word. When elected he
needed a secretary of war and named Stanton. When asked why, Lincoln
said because he is the best man. When Lincoln died Stanton had this to
say “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.” What
Abraham Lincoln did was overlook Edward Stanton’ s offense.
Some of us here may not have many friends because we have never been
able to overlook an offense.
In all things, I need to practice love.
Vs. 8- Love never fails.
Whether I am confronting or overlooking an offense, I need to be
exercising love.
In closing today, I want to ask you three questions. I want you to be
honest with yourself today.
Just you and God.
Am I a loving person?
Am I seeing the benefits of my love in my relationships with people?
Am I choosing to act lovingly more often than critical?
I hope that you were able to answer yes to all three. Some of you may
not have been able to do so. Do you want to get it straight with God?
That’s what this invitation time is for.
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