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Do The Things You Did At First
You have been honored by the invitation
of a young man and a young woman to share in one of the happiest and
holiest moments of their lives. You are their guests and the guests of
this church.
The wedding ceremony is not just a social occasion with a religious
touch thrown in. It is a service of worship from beginning to end, in
which vows are made, prayers are offered, and a blessing is given.
There is a wonderful verse in the Bible that says, "All things are
ready. Come to the feast." A lot of preparation has been put into this
time, including God's part in preparing to bring __________&
______________together. It is God who has given us life, love, family
and marriage. It is only right to invite God into this time and into
this family.
PRAYER
"WHO GIVES THIS WOMAN TO WED THIS MAN?"
______________& _________________ this is your day! The day you have
long awaited to begin. This is a day of great delight, not just for you
but for all who have watched you both fall and grow in love.
Questions about love, marriage and sex were posed to kids ages 5 to 10.
Here are a few of their responses:
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
(Judy, 8) “Eight-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work
anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your
bedroom.”
WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
(Jim, 10) “You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to
buy her a ring and her own VCR, ‘cause she’ll want to have videos of the
wedding.”
HOW CAN PEOPLE MAKE LOVE LAST?
(Roger, 8) “Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.”
At your rehearsal dinner, I collected some advice on making love last
from some of your friends and family. Here are some of their comments:
Use Some Comments From The Family
_____________ and ________________, I want to emphasize that your
success together depends not so much on the set of circumstances you
have been provided, the environment, your feelings, or even on finding
the right person, as much as it does on BEING the right person.
And now is the best time to lay the proper foundation for a rock-solid
marriage.
Nowadays, you can get bombarded with advice given in books, and talk
shows, and infomercials about relationships, communication and money
management. These are important issues, but God, the maker of marriages,
also has given instructions for healthy relationships and marriages, and
His teachings have been confirmed by those who have followed them and
have been happily married for years.
The best advice I’ve ever read on love is found in Revelation 2:4-5. The
context of this passage is about Christians whose love has grown cold
for Jesus. But I believe Jesus’ advice on renewing love is the best I’ve
ever heard, and it applies to marital love also. Here is what Jesus
says, “Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love.
Remember the height from which you have fallen! Turn back and do the
things you did at first.
THE THINGS YOU DID TO CAPTURE EACH OTHER’S LOVE ARE THE THINGS YOU NEED
TO DO TO KEEP EACH OTHER’S LOVE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE YOUR LOVE
DIMINISH TO APPLY THIS VERSE. THE SECRET IS TO ESTABLISH GOOD HABITS
FROM THE BEGINNING AND DON’T DEPART FROM THEM.
Here are things most people do when they grow in love with each other:
EVERYDAY SAY, “I LOVE YOU”
When couples first come together, they are good at telling each other “I
love you.” Keep this habit up. Most of the time this will be easy. But
there will be some days when you won’t feel a lot of love for your
partner. These are the days you must say, “I love you.” So on those days
you don’t feel love say, “I love you.” This provides a great since of
security – it says you will always be around –in good times and in bad –
just as you are about to promise to each other.
EVERYDAY TALK AND LISTEN TO EACH OTHER
James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should
be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
When people first come to love each other, it is normally because they
feel safe to speak with each other about who they really are and what
they really think.
Unfortunately, many times people quit creating that sense of safeness to
share. Don’t let this happen to you. Try everyday to create a safe place
to talk and listen to each other. You can fight and disagree, but don’t
be mean. And really try to listen to understand and compromise where you
can.
EVERYDAY DO SOMETHING KIND FOR EACH OTHER
Philippians 2:3-4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of
you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the
interests of others."
You're probably both thinking "That's good advice." You're probably also
tempted to turn to each other and say "Did you hear that? You're
supposed to out-serve me!"
Well, it is good advice – when you apply it to yourself. I encourage you
to try to out serve one another.
EVERYDAY HAVE THE LOVE OF GOD AT THE CENTER OF YOUR MARRIAGE
There are many kinds of love -- just as there are many kinds of
vitamins. If you want well-balanced diet, you don't say "Well, I'm
getting so much Vitamin A, I don't need any Vitamin C."
So it is with love in marriage. It isn't enough to have a lot of one
kind of love. You need a good balance of the right kinds of love.
Unfortunately the English language has just one word for love. The same
word is used to describe everything from the highest act of sacrifice to
the most polluted form of lust. The New Testament was written in Greek,
and it uses three different words for love. They are: eros, phillio, and
agape: meaning physical love, emotional love, and spiritual love. Every
good marriage needs all three.
Eros is romantic love. It is inspired by the biological structure of
human nature. It seeks sensual expression. But it is far more than just
the actual act of sex. It is what gets our heart pounding when we see
the other person after a time of absence. It is what inspires the
longing to hold the other person or even the desire to playfully
wrestle. It is a vital and important love among the three loves of
Christian marriage.
Phillio is the second love of marriage. It is friendly love. It is
motivated by common interests and goals. It is what is meant when the
husband and wife say they "like" each other. It's expressed in the
feeling that you'd rather be doing nothing, as long as it's with that
person, than to be doing anything else with anybody else. It's what you
mean when you think that your spouse will be fun to live with. You are
to be more than lovers; you are also to be friends -- hopefully best
friends. You are meant to enjoy each other's company.
The third essential love in marriage is agape. Agape is a self-giving,
unconditional love. It is a love that finds its motivating power, not in
the loved but in the lover.
Agape is a self-giving, unconditional love. It is a love that finds its
motivating power, not in the loved but in the lover.
It is not the kind of love that you can either "fall" into or out of. It
is not something that happens to you; it is something you make happen.
It is a decision.
The other two loves are a "because of" kinds of love: They say "I love
you because -- you are attractive, or because you make me laugh, or
because of how I feel when I'm with you." To be sure, there is nothing
wrong with this.
But Agape love is an "even though" kind of love. It says "I love you
even though you hurt me, or even though I'm not attracted to you right
now, or even though I don't like how you make me feel when I'm around
you." It is the ultimate in unconditional, tenacious, sacrificial love.
And its source comes from God.
It is like the Energizer Rabbit; it's a love that keeps on going and
going and going, even when your partner is not being particularly
lovable.
This is the love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13. It says, "Love
is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres."
There is a simple exercise you can do to apply this verse to your life
and marriage to see how you are doing. Whenever the word "love" or its
pronoun appears, substitute your name.
For example:
"________ is patient, ______ is kind. ________does not envy,
__________does not boast, ____________is not proud.
________________is not rude, _____________is not self-seeking,
____________is not easily angered, _______________ keeps no record of
wrongs...." and so on.
It is hard to live up to, but it is worth aspiring to.
The vows you are about to take are an expression of this kind of love
you are to have for each other.
EXCHANGE OF VOWS (couple join hands and face each other)
With that reminder, please face each other, joining your right hands,
and state your vows to each other, remembering that you are not merely
making a pledge, but promising to fulfill them faithfully in life.
I, _____________, take thee, _______________, to be my wedded wife, to
have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for
richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish
till death do us part, that we may become one in spirit, one in mind,
one in affection, and above all things, one in Christ.
I, ______________, take thee, _______________, to be my wedded husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for
richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish
till death do us part, that we may become one in spirit, one in mind,
one in affection, and above all things, one in Christ.
EXCHANGE OF RINGS: "May I have the rings?" (Couple lets go of hands)
__________, as you place this ring on ______________ left ring finger,
please further clarify your commitment to her with these words:
"This ring I give to you/ as a pure symbol of our commitment. / May you
wear it with joy. / May you never doubt my devotion./ May you always be
inspired by my love."
_____________, as you place this ring on ________________ left ring
finger, please further clarify your commitment to him with these words:.
"This ring I give to you/ as a pure symbol of our commitment./ May you
wear it with joy./ May you never doubt my devotion./ May you always be
inspired by my love."
UNITY CANDLE
Let us now have the lighting of the One candle, which is to picture the
blending and bonding of your two lives into one.
Inasmuch as you have consented together in wedlock and have given and
received rings in token of your pledge, I now declare you husband and
wife in the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord.
What God has joined together, let man not separate.
"YOU MAY KISS YOUR BRIDE"
It is a privilege to present to you the new and improved: Mr. and Mrs.
______________
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