3 On 3

07/29/08

Seven weeks ago we began a series titled 3 on 3, inspired by 1 Corinthians 13:13; "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love." I told you then we'd spend three weeks talking about each of those powerful internal concepts.

Today, we begin our final three week look at an internal reality that can change your life forever.

Paul said that faith and hope were two powerful concepts that would stand the test of eternity. But the greatest force of all, he wrote, is love.

Nothing motivates like love. I remember when Trista and I were dating in college. I came back to the dorm room one night and said to my roommate, "I think I'm in love."

He said, "How do you know?" I said, "Well, we were out driving with the windows down, just listening to the music, and we came to this romantic little spot near an old church on the outskirts of town. She said, Jeremy, if you'll put the top down on the car, I'll give you a little kiss.'"

I told my roommate, "Man, I had the top on that car down in five minutes. "

"Five minutes?" he said. "I can put the top down on my car in thirty seconds. "

"Yeah," I said, "But you have a convertible. "

Love will motivate you. The problem is, though, that we're confused about what love really is. We have a strong, positive passion about something or someone and we just call it love.

So the first thing we need to be clear about is what love is and isn't. Look with me in 1 Corinthians 13. If you want to know what love is, this is where you go to learn.

Read l Corinthians 13: 1 – 13 Let's pray.

Let's start this first look at love by dispelling some myths about love. Let's talk about what love is and isn't.

1. Love isn't a spiritual gift, but rather a fruit of the Spirit.

In chapter 12, Paul began addressing some questions the Corinthian church had about spiritual gifts. In verses 7 - 11 he mentions the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernment, and languages. This is by no means an exhaustive list. In other parts of the book and in other books he mentions many more spiritual gifts.

But a common mistake is to assume that since Paul has been talking about gifts of the Spirit in chapter 12, love is just another in the list. But love is not a gift. You can't excuse unloving words, behaviors or attitudes by saying, "Well, love just isn't my gift."

In Galatians 5 Paul discusses the fruit of the Spirit; that is the behaviors and character traits that are produced by the presence of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. Love is the first thing he mentions. So what's the difference between a spiritual gift and a fruit of the Spirit?

A gift of the Spirit enables a believer to be effective in some ministry of the church. You can have the gift of encouragement, or the gift of teaching, or the gift of administration.

A fruit of the Spirit is evidence of the Spirit living in your life. If you are a spirit filled believer it will be shown by the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in your life.

In John 13:35, Jesus said, "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

He didn't say, "They'll know you are my disciples if you have the gift of administration or the gift of compassion or even the gift of ministry." He said, "They'll know you are my disciples if you show evidence of the number one fruit of the Spirit -- love."

If you want to follow Jesus, then love must be in your repertoire.

Now the good news here should be obvious; if love is a spiritual gift, there isn't anything you can do to get more of it or grow better at it. You either have it or you don't. But if love is a fruit of the Spirit, then it can be cultivated.

In Philippians 1:9 Paul wrote, "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight."

In 1 Thessalonians 4:9 he said that we had been taught to love by God. Love can grow. Love can be learned. Love isn't a spiritual gift. It is a fruit of the Spirit.

2. Love isn't a fuzzy feeling, but rather a focused action.

Jerrie Barber used to say that “Love’s not a felling you get when you feel a feeling that you have never felt before.”

We all know how powerful our emotions are.

A little league baseball coach was talking with one of his players. The coach asked the boy, "Do you know what cooperation is? What it means to be a team?" The little boy nodded.

"Good," the coach said. "Do you understand that what really matters is that when we win, we win as a team and if we lose, we lose as a team." The little boy nodded again.

The coach continued. "So when you are at bat and a pitch is called a strike, or if you are called out at first, then you don't argue with or cuss out the umpire. Do you understand all that?" The little boy nodded yes a third time.

"Good, If said the coach. "Now, go explain all that to your mother."

Emotions are extremely powerful things. God wired us up to be emotional creatures. From burning anger and cold hatred to warm affection and delirious delight, our emotions can create enormous problems for us or spur us to heroic action and sacrifice. Even with the problems they sometimes cause, though, I wouldn't want to live a day without my emotions.

OK, is there anyone here that used to watch the original Star Trek Series? My roommate was a fan so I have probably watched a few episodes in my life and I picked up on some things. Do you remember Mr. Spock? He was from the planet Vulcan, and Vulcan’s didn't have emotions. Right now some of you ladies are thinking, "Well of course he was a man!"

But can you imagine living like that? I can't -- never experiencing the joy that comes from a pleasant surprise or the sadness that comes from a crushing disappointment. Some things are worth being sad about.

It’s like imagining worship without emotion? Well that might be a bad example.

To tell you the truth, I can’t think of a single emotion that I would be willing to give up. I wouldn't even want to live without anger. We need anger. Sometimes it's the only thing that gives us the courage to stand up to injustice or oppression.

As necessary as they are, however, our emotions, even the positive ones, are not the same thing as love. You can't command emotions. If I had all the authority in the world -- even if you recognized and agreed to abide by my authority -- I couldn't command you to experience an emotion.

I could order you to be sad and you could fake it, perhaps, but there's no way you can force yourself to truly experience the emotion of sadness. Which is one way you can tell parents are at the end of their ropes with their kids. Ever hear a frustrated parent say to a child, "Stop your crying and Get happy,"? That never works because you can't command an emotion.

Yet all through the Bible, love is a commandment. Look with me in Mark 12:28 - 31.

If love for God is the first and greatest commandment and love for others the second, then love is not an emotion. You can't command emotions.

In Matthew 5:44, Jesus even told us to love our enemies. He doesn't expect us to have warm, fuzzy feelings for Osama Bin Laden or Sadam Hussien or that guy at work who routinely undermines you to the boss or that kid at school who spread a vicious rumor about you. He isn't telling us how to feel. He's telling us how to act.

Now go back to our original text for the morning; 1 Corinthians 13. Start in vs. 4.

Love is patient. Patience is the opposite of emotion. Lyman Abbot said patience is "passion tamed."

Love is kind. How do you feel today? I feel kind, thank you. No one ever says that. Kindness isn't a feeling. It's what we do.

Later on in vs. 5 Paul says that love is not easily angered. Love has a long fuse. When it comes to anger, love is like a dachshund. You know, a weenie dog. I learned this poem in the first grade.

There was a dachshund once so long, He hadn't any notion
How long it took to notify His tail of an emotion.
And so it happened, while his eyes Were full of woe and sadness,
His little tail went wagging on Because of previous gladness.

So if love is more about what we do and less about how we feel, then most of our cultural conclusions about love are wrong. You can't fall into it or out of it. You can fall into or out of a feeling, but you can't tumble into or spill out of love. We may choose to start or stop behaving in loving ways, but the choice is entirely within our control.

Apply that knowledge to our relationships and we suddenly discover enormous leverage where we didn't think we had any. Some of us here this morning don't feel like being married any longer. The feelings we once had for our spouses, the desire, the affection, the quickened heart rate, the sexual attraction, have been dulled by passing years and habitual routine and unresolved conflict and lazy inattention.