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Appreciate One
Another
Philippians 1:3
One day a man,
tired from a long day of work, boarded his bus home from the office.
Everyday he got on the same bus and sat in the same seat, left side 7
rows back. Two stops later a robust elderly woman got on, just as she
also did everyday, and took her same seat right side 6 rows back. She
turned and acknowledged the man with a smile just as she did everyday
but today she spoke.
She said, “We see each other every day and I don’t believe that I have
ever shown you pictures of my Grandchildren.” Opening her pocketbook to
the photo section.
The man cut his eyes towards her and replied, "No mam you haven’t, and I
have ever told you how much I really appreciate it."
Appreciation is something that we all need. Every worker, school
teacher, waitress, Garbage collector, and mom needs to feel that someone
is thankful for what they have done.
Appreciation is a lost art. In a world were we are taught at an early
age to take what you can get, we have forgotten what it means to be
appreciative. This is another area where the church is not exempt; God's
people have also forgotten the power in the expression of appreciation
to others.
When God created us He knew how much we would need to be appreciated. He
knew that this world would be filled with pitfalls and discouragements.
That it would be easier to get down on our work, our churches, our
communities, our families, and even ourselves. Words are powerful. When
you are excited about the direction of your life one word can bring it
all crashing down around you. And when you are in the pit of despair a
word can lift you up. That’s why God had Paul write to the Church in
Ephesus what he did.
Ephesians 4:29 "Speak what is helpful for building up others according
to their needs."
William James has written that the deepest need of individuals is being
appreciated. People are hungry, they're starving for appreciation. As
Paul sat in a prison in Rome, there were many things he could no longer
do. But, he was determined to focus on things he could still accomplish
and one of those was saying, "thank you," to the people who had been
kind to him all of his life.
Let’s turn and read exactly what Paul had to say in Philippians 1:1-11
Read text and pray.
You know it wasn’t just the letter to the church in Philippi that Paul
showed his appreciation. In every letter to every church Paul spends
some time strengthening the church by showing them how thankful he is
for them. It was important for his relationship with them, important for
their relationship with each other, and important for their relationship
with God.
I believe that there are times that even though we truly do appreciate
others, we just don't know how to tell them. So instead of strengthen
relationships we don’t say anything at all. In our text for today Paul
helps us discover three attributes we can acknowledge in others.
We can say Thank You for loyalty
Are there people in your life who have hung in there with you through
thick and thin? People who could have bailed out when times got tough
but didn't?
The church at Philippi had proven to be that kind of friend to Paul. If
you read on in the first chapter of this letter, Paul says that there
were some who were taking advantage of his imprisonment. Others were
saying negative things about him. Some, no doubt, likely forgot about
him. Not the Philippians.
They never forgot him as the years went by and even sent a gift to him
while he was in prison.
Consequently, Paul writes the following words. "I thank my God every
time I remember you." They were Paul's Booster Club; they supported him,
standing with him for years.
Behind-the-scenes people deserve our appreciation. They may not be
spectacular, they may not be the superstars, they may not do anything
really out of the ordinary, but just the fact that they stick with you
needs to be appreciated.
In the western movie Tombstone just before the "good guys" take over the
town of Tombstone, Val Kilmer, who is playing the role of Doc Holliday,
is asked by another cowboy why would he risk his life and fight this
battle along side Wyatt Earp.
Holliday responds with a great line, "'Cause Wyatt Earp's my friend."
The cowboy responds, "Well I've got a lot of friends!!!"
Holliday responds, "I don't."
In this world we have an awful lot of acquaintances and very few that
will stick closer than a brother. True friends are hard to come by, but
only a true friend would be willing to share everything they’ve got.
Those are true friends, and they are priceless.
Some of us have husbands or wives who have stuck with us through bad
times. It may have been financial disaster, a mid-life crisis, a health
problem, an affair, a terrible career decision. Some of us have been
blessed with someone who has shown wonderful support and we taken them
for granted.
If you've got a spouse, family member or friend who sticks by you in
tough times, show them appreciation, it will only make that bond
stronger.
We can say Thank You for tolerance
Tolerance is that gem we treasure in others but have a hard time finding
in ourselves. I wonder why do we insist on perfection from others when
we cannot produce it ourselves?
I have a classmate from Faulkner living in Jasper who has gotten out of
Ministry and is now working in the Funeral home business. Trista and I
ran into them at Wal-Mart after we first moved here and I asked him how
it was working out. Great he said, “For the first time in my life when I
straighten a person out, they stay straight!"
Some of us have wasted a lifetime trying to change our spouse, children,
parents, employer or friends. One of the first things I tell engaged
couples when we meet is I hope that you are happy with your future
spouse they way they are because trying to change them will be like
putting a dress on a pig. It will never fit and you just end up making
the pig angry.
But I think that’s one of the ways that God's shows His sense of humor
is by letting us fall in love with people who are our complete
opposites. Trista and I are a good example. We almost killed each other
early in our marriage attempting to "straighten the other one out." I
didn't need much change, but she was a mess.
We still forget sometimes. It took me a long time to understand that I
cannot change anyone other than myself. But it's so tempting because
she's so different. She's a saver. I'm a spender. She's a work first,
relax later person, I try to relax all the time. She sees the glass half
empty. I go, "What glass? Drink from the bottle!" We've had to learn
that the only way to survive is to be tolerant.
Paul wasn’t perfect and we see from early in his ministry the struggle
he had being tolerant of others. Early on in his ministry, his great
partnership with Barnabas was dissolved over a difference of opinion
regarding John Mark. When the two men began preparing for the second
missionary journey, Barnabas believed Mark deserved another chance. Paul
violently disagreed and Luke records that the difference of opinion was
so great the two men went their separate ways.
However, as the years passed, Paul seems to have learned the value of
tolerance toward others. In the last letter he wrote before his death,
the old missionary pleads with Timothy to send John Mark to visit him
since, as Paul says, "he is helpful to me in my ministry." Paul learned
to say thank you for others in spite of their shortcomings and failures.
He wrote to the church at Colossae, in Colossians 3:13-14 "Bear with
each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all of these virtues
put on love which binds them together in perfect unity. Let the peace of
God rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to
peace. And be thankful"
We can say Thank You for others’ good efforts
In verse 4 of our text Paul writes, "I always pray with joy because of
your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."
We say it’s not the gift but the thought that counts. But we don’t
really believe that do we? We want someone to think highly of us, so
highly that they make sure everything they do for us is perfect, but
that rarely happens. After all we say if you want anything done right
you have to do it yourself. But is that the attitude that Paul shows to
the church in Philippi?
We need to learn how to say thank you even if the results don't turn out
as well as one might have hoped. I thought about this yesterday as
Trista had me out trying not to think about the accident. Church it is
important to express your gratitude while there is still time to do so.
One simple red rose that expresses your love and appreciation is one
million times better than a massive wreath placed on a casket after
someone is gone.
Two men who worked together were taking a coffee break. When they were
together one man always complained about how much money it took to raise
his son. He whined about the costs of clothes, insurance, braces, gifts
and the like. Finally, the other man said, "You know my wife and I
haven't spent one dime on our son since he was killed in the car wreck
four years ago." Who do you need to say "thank you" to while you still
can?
When Paul wrote this letter, he didn't know if he would ever be released
from the prison in Rome. In fact, he acknowledged the reality that he
could be executed. So, while he still was alive and had the opportunity,
he decided to say thank you to those faithful and loyal brothers in
Christ back in Philippi. Look again at what he says and see what we
learn from Paul's expression of appreciation of the Philippians.
It was a sincere expression of appreciation.
"I thank my God every time I think of you." Verse 3
How many times have I been guilty of offering a flippant thanks on my
way out the door? Shouldn’t the appreciation be worth the gift?
Apparently Paul though so, he leaves no doubt of the depth of this love
and care for the recipients of this letter.
Real appreciation is genuine, it is never flattery. It is sincere and
heartfelt with no ulterior motive.
Second it was a specific, tangible expression of appreciation.
"I thank God ... because of your partnership." Verse 5
Paul wanted this congregation to understand why they were so important
to him. He said that he considered them a partner in the important work
to which God had called him. And it meant so much to him that he was
willing to take his time to write this in a letter they could hold, and
read and touch.
If you have ever dated someone you recognize this very quickly in the
relationship. The guy makes this huge discovery about the time of the
first holiday. I call it the card factor. When you give me a present and
I have been trained to read the card first. But that’s not how guys
usually operate. We think forget the card get to the good stuff. But to
the more compassionate side of the human race they know that the card is
a written expression of how the giver of the gift feels. So let me help
some of you out here today CARDS ARE VERY IMPORTIANT!
Paul’s letter was a recognizable means of expressing just how much he
loved them. The art of learning to say the right thing should be a life
goal.
Solomon writes that "a man finds joy in giving an apt reply - how good
is a timely word!" Proverbs 15:23
Finally it was a recurring habit Paul had developed.
"I always pray for all of you" Verse 4
I think that it’s very interesting to read about some of the discipline
Paul developed for surviving life in prison.
In chapter four he tells us if we want to do more than just survive this
life, if we want to thrive we must control our thought patterns. For
Paul, that meant developing a habit of saying "thank you", both to God
and to others who supported him. If you heart is thankful then there is
no room for bitterness, resentment or revenge.
I believe that God desires for all of us to be a more thankful person.
People blossom under affirmation. They wilt under criticism.
I challenge you this week to give a compliment to every person in your
family every day this week.
If you want to have a more powerful office, affirm your employees.
If you want to have a more productive secretary, affirm your secretary.
If you want a more tolerable boss, compliment her or him.
Every time you appreciate the people around you, you raise their value.
Bosses who depreciate their staff are lowering their staff’s value. It's
the same with Christians. If we constantly criticize our church family,
that family gets uglier and uglier in our own eyes. It begins to become
what we've named it. Become a grateful person.
The bottom line is what do you need to appreciate from God? When was the
last time you spent 15 minutes just in gratitude to God? He's done so
much for you! He came to give us a purpose in life, power for life, the
hope of heaven. He came to forgive our sin and to give our lives real
meaning.
You're not here on earth by accident, God put you here for a purpose.
How do I express gratitude to God? By giving myself to him? He gave
Himself for me.
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